Food Overdose

I feel like I have the strangest dreams, I’m sure everyone says that, but I really do…..there is one particular dream that comes to mind, I can vividly remember it because I have it repeatedly. It’s nighttime and I’m standing in a field……..I stare up at the dark blue sky which is overflowing with billions of brilliant bright stars, each one shining at it’s own unique pace. I am barefoot and I can feel the cool wind blowing through my hair as I hear the sound of the air swimming through the leaves of the trees. The ground feels moist beneath my feet. I start running as fast as I can, the wind rushes past my face now and I can feel it whipping through my hair. It feels like FREEDOM. Every few seconds I start to leap off of the ground as I run. Each time the jumps get higher until eventually I can see over the trees. It always feels as if I am going to stay up there, way above the ground, but I never do. The higher I jump the harder I fall. When I am at the very highest point it seems like I am going to fly and I can hear myself laughing but then at the very last moment….I fall…..and of course I wake up…..

Ok so I decided to avert from the usual posts about food. I need to vent. The world is a seriously big and scary place. I recently got introduced to the world of being independent, this included me trying to go out and find a job, a car,an apartment as well as meet some new people in a totally new country without any experience whatsoever. WHAT WAS I THINKING? (It was supposed to be an adventure) This has been the most frustrating and stressful time in my whole entire life. In order to get a job you need experience, it doesn’t matter how smart or well-spoken or responsible you are. If you don’t have experience you pretty much don’t matter. So I ask, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET EXPERIENCE IF YOU WON’T GIVE ME A JOB? Was there any point in me getting this stupid degree? Or does that mean nothing? I wish I had known that the degree which I worked so hard to attain would be as non-existent as the hair on Donald Trump’s head!! If I had known that, I wouldn’t have studied at all, I wouldn’t have wasted my time or my dad’s hard earned cash on a few meaningless words at the bottom of my resume. It’s a sad sad situation…..from which I am sure I will gain strength and knowledge but not money or a job….*sigh*